Best (aka Worst) Dad Jokes: It’s Better than a Poke in the Eye
Every dad – upon learning that he will become a father – is automatically enrolled in the “Dad Jokes 101” seminar. We’ve decided that this is the only logical explanation for how and why all dads automatically know the same jokes. Or, maybe they get a pamphlet in the mail or they have clandestine get-togethers with other dads and then just call it “bowling” or “golfing” with their friends. Regardless of how dads do it, there is one thing we know for sure: all dads have that special list of infamous “Dad Jokes” up their sleeve. Dad jokes are a perfect mix between a pun and a prank; it’s a joke that leaves you in a weird limbo between annoyance and appreciation. So, here’s to you, Dad! Thank you for always being there for us – especially when it comes to making us laugh (or one of those weird dry snort/laugh things).
In celebration of Father’s Day, we want to give a round of applause to all the best/worst “dad joke” aficionados out there! Here are our favorite dad jokes; the jokes that make us laugh, make us roll our eyes, and the jokes that – somehow – all our dads told us while we were growing up.
1) People Are Dying to Get in There
Dads must have radar for cemeteries or something… because – without fail – when you pass a cemetery with your dad he will say, “You know…people are dying to get in there.” This was such a staple of growing up that – even now – when you pass a cemetery you can’t help but whisper to yourself, “people are dying to get in there.” Dad jokes have staying power like that – they’ll go to the grave with you for sure.
2) Hi, Hungry! I’m Dad
We’ve all been there. You tell your dad, “I’m hungry” to which he responds, “Hi, Hungry! I’m Dad.” Oh, my gawd, DAD (cue the groan and the desire for a grilled cheese sandwich)! Or even, “Dad, I’m thirsty” to which he pulls something like, “You’re thirsty? Hi, Thirsty. I’m Friday. Come over Saturday and we’ll have a Sundae!” As a kid, you’re too hungry or thirsty to appreciate just how clever these jokes really are or that – maybe, just maybe – your dad is trying to teach you a life lesson about manners and how to ask for things politely.
3) Award-Winning Scarecrows
You are on a long road trip – no one has said a word for an hour or more in the car – when out of nowhere your dad says, “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.”
Hay, stop being corny! See what we did there, Dad? Two can play at this game!
4) Poof! You’re a Sandwich
As a kid, you feel everything with an overwhelming sense of urgency: fear, joy, and – most especially – hunger. Unfortunately, it also means that kids aren’t always the most patient or polite when it comes to demanding er …we mean asking for something; hence, we now understand why when we asked, “Dad, make me a sandwich” that our dad would respond with “Poof! You’re a sandwich.”
You may have still been hungry after this, but at least you were more polite the next time you asked about that grilled cheese sandwich…
5) See You Next Year
Dads have a way of pushing your buttons. There’s the old holiday favorite, “See you next year” joke on New Year’s Eve that always had a way of – even though you knew he was joking – making you both annoyed and sad at the same time. I don’t think any kid has ever actually laughed at this joke; yet every dad loves to tell it, nonetheless. Not cool, Dad.
Every dad out there – whether he’s a stepdad, a grandpa, or an uncle – is someone special. Join DBH in celebrating your dad this Father’s Day with an awesome Design By Humans’ Dad shirt or something from our “dad joke” inspired Punny Collection.
You may not love his dad jokes, but he’s still the best dad in the galaxy to you!